Navigating Conflict: Insight from Coach Ryan Thompson
Guest Post: Coach Ryan Thompson, MidAmerica Nazarene University Baseball Coach
As I entered the coaching profession, I quickly realized that the one area I was not prepared to handle was conflict resolution. When done poorly, this can lead to your greatest coaching regrets and unfortunately, we do not get do overs. However, when conflict resolution is done well it can lead to some of your greatest coaching successes.
So, the purpose of this article is to give coaches some ideas to keep in mind as they navigate challenging relational situations within their teams. I’m sure I’m not going to cover all the material that could be said on this topic, but I believe it is critical for young coaches to have some tools ready to use as they begin their coaching careers. I’m going to focus on five keys that will help you navigate conflict within your team. Before starting it’s best to pray.
First, Be proactive. I learned this first idea from Kevin Wardlaw, the men’s soccer coach at MNU. In conversation I learned that Coach Wardlaw schedules individual meetings before the year begins, to get ahead of any potential problems that might arise throughout the year. I have implemented this practice within my program, and we meet prior to the season, at the halfway point of the season, and prior to the post-season. This process has helped us avoid many potential conflicts over the years. Many potential issues have been uncovered and dealt with prior to becoming a significant problem.
Second, Keep your emotions in check. If you allow your emotions to go unchecked, you will do more harm than good. This does not mean that emotions are not present, but it is best to control them. Often the player can become emotional, and it is important that you do not respond emotionally.
Third, always protect the relationship. The goal is to navigate this process in a way that builds trust and strengthens the relationship. The point of any conflict resolution is to restore the relationship, something has happened that has broken trust, so you are working to restore the relationship so you can move forward fully trusting each other.
Fourth, ask questions to gain understanding. I fear too that many coaches including myself have begun meetings, telling the player what they are doing wrong and how they need to fix it. A better way is to begin by asking open-ended questions to gain insight into what the player is thinking. Who doesn’t want to be understood by their coach?
Fifth, apologize, if needed. If you allow your emotions to go unchecked and say something you regret or assume without asking questions, just stop, humble yourself and apologize. This is not a tactic for manipulation but a reminder that you are a fallible human being too and do not have all the answers and you want what’s best for them.
Conflict is inevitable, let’s do it in a way that continues moving the relationship forward and sometimes the players who you have the most conflict often become the ones you will have the most lasting relationships with!
If you want to learn more from Ryan, check out his podcast with us or reach out to him at rkthompson@mnu.edu.